Brandi_that OTHER chick_Vail’s blog

aww come on ppls!

nobody@vox.com(Brandi_that ONE chick) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 21:29:44 -0700

hey wheres everyone at?

i dont usually have the time to post but i sometimes get the chance to read a couple.. where they all at?

i hope you arent all to busy to post.

hope to read some soon :)

have a great day :)

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The voices

nobody@vox.com(Brandi_that ONE chick) — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:34:55 -0700

A familiar voice pounds in my head,

repeating phrases I've never heard said.

It says I won't be good enough, no matter what I do

It says that I should just give up, because I don't know what to do.

Over and over again, I question my sanity,

I guess that proves its there.

But I can't help but to wonder...

Whose voice is this, that fills my mind?

I know it but it doesn't come with a face.

I begin to obsess,
My life is blurring, it's becoming a haze.

As I sit alone in the silent safety of my own bedroom,

the words echo in my mind.

I say them aloud, and the voices match,

perfectly synchronized.

All this time it was just me,

Obsessing on my own self doubt.

It was my own voice, calling to me.

My own voice, pulling me down.

Once again I apologize for not writing as much... I have been VERY caught up recently in.. teenage drama, school, family, and I haven't been able to find the time to write as much or as well, let alone type it up and post it... And I am truley sorry. But thank you so much for those of you who are regular (or as regular as I allow you to be lol) readers and continue to check up on my writings... I have not, nor will I ever, give up the art of poetry. It is my life, my passion, my "talent", and I love it above all other things. Thank you to those of you who realize this and continue to take the time to read my work :). I appreciate it SO much. :)

Now, with that out of the way, I am in desperate need of feedback for this one.. When i finally had the time, i sat down in my room, and wrote... i got to the final line, re-read it, and didn't quite think that it seemed final. It seemed so unfinished at the time, but my brain was all of a sudden blank of all ideas. I got to school the next day and in first hour my teacher gave us about 20 minutes of free time. In this time I picked up my pencil and read over the work I started the night before, once again unable to write another word.

But this time it seemed so much more...complete. I like this poem a lot, but I'm not sure if my "writers block" (if thats what you want to call it) caused it to seem so complete.

So let me know. :) thanks again for taking your time to not only read my poetry, but to read my little sidenotes as well. :)

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Memories

nobody@vox.com(Brandi_that ONE chick) — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 17:30:39 -0700

Mommy and Daddy fighting,

Ashley smoking in our room.

Playing on a playground at school,

crushing on the cutest boy in the first grade.

Mother May I, or Red Light Green Light were my favorite games.

I attended church every Sunday.

As most others, I have memories, good and bad.

I have dreams I awake from with a smile,

And nightmares that stick in my brain.

But despite these memories and dreams,

I live for the present,

that will someday be the future,

and be left behind as the past.

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I Don't Love Him

nobody@vox.com(Brandi_that ONE chick) — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 17:26:31 -0700

People say I've fallen,

that I've got it bad.

No! They're all wrong!

Just because my mind never drifts form his face, his voice, his words.

Just because when he's around, he's the only one I see.

I'm not in love!

I don't love him,

I can't love him.

He's got her.

There's no room for me.

So you see, I cannot be in love with him.

Because he's not in love with me.

I wrote this poem a while back.. but never posted it.

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Lucien Smith (a friend of mine )

nobody@vox.com(Brandi_that ONE chick) — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 17:22:22 -0700

A writer's blood pumps through your veins.

Potential is the beat of your heart.

Intelligence-insightfulness are the throbs of your brain.

And with your talent, you're off to a great start.

You've had a rough time,

living a rough life.

Worse than most.

But you're getting through it.

And I know I dont know the half of it.

I missed out on those big chapters and so much more.

But despite of this,

Still hear my point.

Life will take you all over the place,

in circles and spirals that seem to go no where.

It may be hard,

but dont let it bring you down.

That spiral will always have a way out.

You just have to look from the right angle.

So what I'm trying to say,

you're wonderful just the way you are.

Don't let a harsh life turn you to the worst.

Stand up tall,

Look life in the eye.

And let it know that there's a silver lining,

and you will survive.

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Never-ending story

nobody@vox.com(Brandi_that ONE chick) — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 17:16:39 -0700

Why do you torture me?

Why do you take joy from my pain?

We're supposed to be sisters, family.

But you continue to do this again and again.

Who do you think you're fooling with your fake smiles and caring tenderness?

Me, apparently, cause I fall for it every time.

But no more. I'm done.

No longer will I be taken by your lies.

I look back, to some of my first memories.

You were my hero, my idol!

I didn't just want everything to do with you, I needed it.

So what happened to that girl?

The girl who was always there for me,

the one I miss so badly.

I guess she's long gone, disappeared a long time ago.

And I guess it's too late to try to find her again.

Or is it?

Could she possibly be in there still to this day?

If I dig deep enough will i find the soul that once controled what is now "Ashley Nicole"?

I don't know.

And I dont believe I'll try to find out.

Cause I'm tired of living in your never-ending story of fables and lies.

I'm done.

My part in this fairy-tale is over.

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Ashley Nicole

nobody@vox.com(Brandi_that ONE chick) — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 21:46:36 -0700

ok so the background info on this poem is my sisters name is ashley nicole.. but she didnt like that so we call her nicci... she used to be the BEST sister EVER.. and now she is HORRIBLE!!!! she lies to me CONSTANTLY.. she is breaking a court order to be with a 16 year old guy that i was dating when they hooked up... shes never home and when she is she argues constantly.. she cant hold a job down, she is 21 almost 22 with two kids that got taken away from her by DCFS... shes just horrible and i miss the girl she used to be.

ASHLEY NICOLE

What happened to the girl I used to know?

Where did she go?

Why did she leave?

What happened to the girl,

my sister,

before all this.

Before you left your family,

before you seemed so crazy?

I want her back.

But no.

Shes gone forever.

And she REFUSES to come back.

What happened to the girl that was once my hero?

You arent her anymore,

no matter how i wish you were.

You care for you,

and you alone.

but you try to make it seem otherwise.

i love you Nicci, I always will.

And when you REALLY need it,

I am here to help.

But not as a sister.

As a caring stranger.

Cause for now,

I have no sister called Nicci,

only an acquaintance called Ashley Nicole.

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