Brandi_that OTHER chick_Vail’s blog

Lost

nobody@vox.com(Brandi_that ONE chick) — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 13:12:48 -0700

Where do I belong?

It's a question commonly asked.

I could search the world,

TRYING to find that place I'm meant to be.

But trying only complicates it.

I could spend my entire life searching.

But where will that get me?

It'll leave me confused and oh, so lost.

It'll leave me wondering, forever,

ready to give up on it all.

So, you know what?

I'm just going to live my life,

day by day by day.

And maybe I'll find that place I should be.

But until then,

I'm not going to worry.

i won't spend my life searching.

Cause searching,

will only leave me lost.

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High School

nobody@vox.com(Brandi_that ONE chick) — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 21:07:04 -0700

It has been brought to my attention,

that High school really isnt as mature is it should be.

The people still talk, just not as loud.

The bullies still bully, just not as bad.

Backstabbing bitches still exist,

but are afraid to show themselves.

And guys think with their "little head"

more than ever before.

Trust no one.

That's my new philosophy.

Dont trust the girl who sits next to you in History,

she just wants to cheat off of your work.

Dont trust that seemingly perfect guy who gave you a wink in the halls,

he heard you are easy.

Dont trust that clique of girls who said they liked your hair.

They laughed at you when you walked away.

High school is full of fake people everywhere you look.

Hell, think about it... you're fake to!

Reading this poem like you are actually interested.

So dont even trust yourself...

you might get stabbed all the same

i like it till u get the the last 2 lines... but i couldnt think of anythin else.... :'(

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YOU

nobody@vox.com(Brandi_that ONE chick) — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 19:58:59 -0700

A small twinke,

just a tiny light way up high.

Thats what you are to most.

But to me,

you are the most gorgeous thing

I've ever laid my eyes upon.

I love to sit and watch you sparkle.

I get lost in your beauty,

and cannot seem to find a way out.

Yes, the stars are beautiful,

but I was looking at YOU.

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Attention

nobody@vox.com(Brandi_that ONE chick) — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 23:05:57 -0700

They say I'm dying for attention.

That's why I do what I do.

That's why I cut my wrists at night,

and why I "claim" to want to die.

Oh, yes..

Because all I need is more attention,

Because that is SO what I want.

NO.

Did it ever cross your mind that maybe,

just maybe,

I really want to end it all?

That I really am in so much pain,

that i can't bare it anymore.

Did you ever stop to think,

about what I'M going through?

About how much hurt i hold inside me?

About how all i do, is cry and cry?

No.

Because all you think about it you.

You just want a reason to ignore yet another person,

and concentrate on yourself.

So that you can be the center of attention once again.

well guess what?

Who's dying for attention now?

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The meaning of life

nobody@vox.com(Brandi_that ONE chick) — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 19:39:08 -0700

People search the world just to find one thing.

Why were we "put" here?

Why do we exist?

They spend their entire lives searching for what it right in front of them.

The "meaning of life" is not to worship.

It is not to spend your life trying to live perfect for a god.

It is to simply live loving,

and to love living.

Live life to the fullest,

let no one stand in your way.

The meaning of life is to find yourself,

whoever that may be.

It is not to live as if in a colt of religion,

it is to embrace life itself,

to make the best of what you have.

So I say it again.

The meaning of life is to live loving,

and to love living.

live life to its fullest,

and let NO ONE stand in your way.

i think my ideas may be back.. i like this one :)) tell me what you think :)

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Drowning

nobody@vox.com(Brandi_that ONE chick) — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 22:12:04 -0700

You people say it goes away,

just give it time.

Well DAMNIT!

I've given it MONTHS NOW,

and the pain hasn't even faded!

You all tell me not to think about it.

To just forget.

BITCH!

I want you to go through this!

Feel what I'm feeling then try to just "forget".

I'm tired of listening to you people.

You DON'T understand.

You have NO clue what I'm going through,

and your "help" is just fucking me up more.

So dont give me a word of advice,

if you havent been through it before.

And dont put your two cents in,

if you dont know what you're talking about.

Just leave me alone,

unless you carry real help with you.

But untill then,

just let me be.

And if you see me struggling in the water,

let me drown,

Don't try to help,

cause you'll just end up holdin me down.

~~idk this one seems kinda... empty to me. tell me wacha think.. and thank you to those of you that are still keepin an eye on me :)))~~

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Underestimated,Yet to Bloom, and Untitled

nobody@vox.com(Brandi_that ONE chick) — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 16:18:45 -0700

ok. so i wrote this poem... called underestimated... i showed it to a friend of mine, and surprisingly wrote one in reply to it. i asked if i could post our little... mini conversation thing on here and he said it was fine so here ya go.

UNDERESTIMATED

I'm tired of you people telling me that I dont understand,

I'm too young, I'll figure it out when I'm older.

You dont know me, you cant read my thoughts.

So who are you to say what I do and do not understand?

You all underestimate me, just because of my age.

Yeah, I'm 14, get over it! I already have!

I comprehend a lot more than you may think.

I understand so much of what you say I wouldnt.

But i am held back by my age.

People should be judged upon their maturity,

and their comprehension of how things work.

Not upon how long they've had to figure it out.

No I don't know how everything works, but who does?

Surely not you.

What do i have to do,

to make you understand?

I am 14 going on 15 with a mind underestimated.

~~this was his reply.~~

YET TO BLOOM

Don't you hold your head too high.

Dont let your chin point upward.

For the world is humbling.

Your maturity is valuable,

but your humility is worth so much more.

If you listen you will hear.

If you look you will see

That age holds a certain wisdom.

There are lessons for you to learn.

And there are lessons for you to teach.

your age is not a restriction-

it is an oportunity.

you have time and so much of it.

It's value evades you.

Maybe the old will seem more wise

when you are their companion.

Look

Listen

Learn

Your age has a value that is hard to appreciate now.

It is not your age that is valuable,

it is the time itself.

Time will bring many lessons that no mom can teach you.

Develope yourself. That should be your goal.

Because whether you believe it or not you have time to grow.

For you have yet to bloom.

-Lucien Smith ( sorry if i spelled your name wrong.. i wasnt sure)

~~i LOVED it! and i wrote back, though he did not want to see it.~~

~~so now you get the see the part of the conversation that only I know about lol :)~~

UNTITLED

my head perfectly balanced-

Not too high, yet not too low.

My chin points not up nor down,

but straight out.

I do not say that I am better than other kids my age,

nor more mature.

I simply say that my mind and comprehension is underestimated,

similar to most other 14 year old children.

People look at me, look at my age,

and say "she knows nothing"

And to an extent they are right,

But only to an extent.

I know not much,

but i do understand how so many things work.

Yes i have much time,

and with that time will come many lessons.

But just because i am 14,

does not mean that my lessons already learned is limited.

I am a quick-learning teenager,

with so much more to learn,

this I know.

But i HAVE learned in the past 14 years many things,

that is what i speak of.

I know that I don't know everything

And that I never will.

But I know what I know.

You can not take that from me,

just because I am but 14.

Yes, wisdom comes with age.

But who says that is the ONLY thing wisdom comes with?

Wisdom comes with experiences,

with life in general.

14 years of life have brought unto me,

a certain... maturity,

and at the risk of sounding self-ritious a bit of wisdom.

Just a bit.

I refuse to get told "You wouldn' understand" anymore.

At least try me, let ME be the one to say I don't understand.

And if i don't, then teach me.

Give me a lesson to go with another day's age.

~~Thanks Lucien, if you ever read this, for letting me post your poetry. It is EXTREMELY good. It really is. I'm glad others will be able to enjoy it.~~

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DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM... storms

nobody@vox.com(Brandi_that ONE chick) — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 15:15:01 -0700

~~AAAAHHH!!! lately i have been blocked. I'd pick up a pen or a pencil and my mind would just go blank.~~

~~i haven't been able to write anything! my ideas are like.. GONE! thats OK though. this is my passion and they will come back.~~

~~well i don't like this one... i like forced myself to write it... i don't like doing that because its never as good as the idea could be...~~

~~but here ya go. sorry i haven't posted in a while, and sorry my newest post isn't too good.~~

STORMS

I take a look at the people around me,

at the storms clouding this society.

It's amazing how much rain falls over the people of this town.

For some its just little sprinkles,

no danger, minimum pain.

For others it's lightning, thunder,

and hard, pounding rain,

generally leading to hard pounding tears.

For others still,

its a constant tornado,

with constant fear,

and a never ending siren.

I see the dark clouds hovering over the citizens of this clouded city.

Some try to hide them,

covering them with obviously fake smiles and laughter.

Some make them darker than they really are.

But some smile honestly,

for they have found the paper thin silver lining.

~~like i said. i don't like it. comment if u wish but I'm not too worried about this one.~~

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QotD: That's So Cliché

nobody@vox.com(Brandi_that ONE chick) — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 16:17:13 -0700

Which, ahem, "internets" clichés do you wish would go away already?

Comming from a VERY frequent user of "lol, omg, brb.." things like that. i wish that ALL of them would go away.

I use them all the time and its starting to effect my typing.. i will just automatically type lol.... or brb... yeah... i just wish people would type everything out....

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My fault

nobody@vox.com(Brandi_that ONE chick) — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 17:27:40 -0800

You and me, are not to be.

Our love forbidden, like Romeo and Juliette.

My parents just don't understand.

They don't see that my love for you,

flies beyond just a teenage crush.

They don't see that our love,

our love is unconditional.

So I sneak around, behind their backs.

What they don't know wont hurt 'em.

But what I didn't know,

was that it might hurt me.

The weeks turned into months.

I said no, but you said they are all doing it.

You whispered in my ear,

you wouldn't love me anymore if I didnt.

I said your love must not be true,

took a couple steps back, but you pulled me close.

You said you wouldnt hurt me.

But you lied.

I refused, but my refusals had no effect.

Over and over and over again,

you took me.

I tried to fight it, but your strength overwhelmed me.

The pain, not only of the sex, but of hiding it from everyone,

was unbarable.

You said if I told a soul, you'd kill me.

I thought you loved me.

How could you do this?

I guess it's true, a stiff dick really has no concience.

My parents were right,

you were just trouble.

I'ts been months now,

since you were put in jail.

I still have nightmares,

I am still plagued by the fears.

Never again, will I be the same.

Most would say it's YOUR fault.

well, most would lie.

The fault is no one's but mine.

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